Do You Still Remember?

Do you still remember this day? The fourth  day of February?

Five years ago, something started between us. In those days that we shared, we were so in love. We’re so happy knowing that we have each other. I felt blessed for having you in my life, and I know you also felt the same, because I saw it in your eyes everytime you stare at me. 

We shared 3 long years with each other. In those years that we were together, we faced a lot of things, so many times we cried, so many times we got hurt, but then so many times that we showed our love for each other  in spite of all the hard times that we had in our relationship.

I thought then that you were  the one whom I’ll share the rest of my life with. I thought you’re already the one… but I was wrong

I was so young then, I admit I was so weak. Many times I broke your heart. So many times I caused you pain. I still remember those days when you cried because of me. I felt a sadness in my heart everytime I see your tears falling down.  And in spite of all those things  that I did to you, you still loved and understood me.

You loved me in your own special way.  I felt special knowing that I was loved by you. I can still picture in my mind the way your eyes sparkle and how cute you say "Yab Yu B!"

Do you still remember how proud we were when we tell our friends that we’re so in love? Do you still remember the look of jealousy in their eyes when they see the sweetness that we have for one another? They used to say that we’re perfect for each other, something that we both agreed to.

Five years ago we had each other in our arms, and now all we have are memories of those 3 years that we shared together.

You were my source of strength. I always see hope on you, for myself, for our relationship. We both know that I was the weaker one and I trusted you not to be weak, not to give up on us. I held your hands tighter so won’t let go of me. Because I don’t want to see you walk away from me, I don’t want to see you letting go of my hands. I didn’t want you to let me go… I didn’t want you to go… 

I built my world around you. I left my own and started sharing with yours.  We built plans for us, we dreamt together. We promised that we will never let each other go.

We promised a lot of things to each other… Promises that didn’t and will never come true. 

Do you still remember the day when we said our last goodbye? We embraced each other tightly, so tight that I could almost feel every beat of your heart. We held each other so tight as we cried on each others soulders because we know that that would be the last time, the very last time that we can feel each others arms.

You promised me that you will never let me go… But you did… 

I remember that night when I turned my back to face and walk through your door. For a moment I stood still knowing that when I walked out that door I would be leaving behind me everything that I had for the past 3 years. I would be leaving everything, including the only world that I know during those 3 years that we shared.

How can I go on?… How can I move on?…  How can I start my life all over again when I know that behind me is everything that I have, and now I just have to leave it all behind.

I was scared knowing that when I open the door to let myself out I might not see you again.  I was so scared knowing that I have no idea of the things that awaits me outside the door. I wanted to stay, stay beside you, stay close to you, but I know it’s better for me to go because I no longer have the right of reason to stay because the person who holds that reason wants me to go.

Do you still remember that it wasn’t easy for us to say goodbye to each other because we know that during that time we still love one another? But for some reason we have to set each other free because we know that letting go of each other is what is best for the both of us. And maybe love alone wasn’t enough to let a person stay specially if that love can cause the other person a lot of hurt, a lot of pain, a lot of tears.

I still remember those nights when I cried myself to sleep. Those nights when your vision haunts me in my dreams and each morning I always find myself crying over you. It lasted for months. It lasted more than a year. I thought I won’t be able to move on. 

But during those days that we no longer see each other you still somehow gave me strength to move on. It wasn’t easy to move on but I have to do it, not for myself but for you. 

Do you still remember when you always tell me "Be happy!"? And do you still remember when I anwered you that how can I become happy when the only person that makes me happy isn’t longer mine?

I tried to find my own happiness. The happiness that I started with you. It wasn’t easy to start a new life and a new world from scratch but I tried my best to start all over again because I know that this is what you want for me. You want me to be happy even if you are no longer with me. 

I learned a lot of things from you. I learned how to value more and treasure those people and things that I want to stay with me. I became mature in many ways because of you, I learned how to be stronger and survive because of you. And most of all, because of what we’ve been through with our relationship I learned that some good things really doesn’t last no matter how much we hold them tightly in our hands.

xXx 

This song describes every single thing that I felt when we broke up. Every single word speaks about you and me. I cried myself over this song a lot of times during those months when I thought that it’s impossible for me to move on…

Boyz_II_Men_-_I_miss_you